Thursday, November 6, 2014

"The Man and the Hole in the Roof"

What's it like to live with depression?  Some days it's just horrible.  Bipolar depression can make a person feel like they're crazy.  One day you're fine the next, bam!  You're in the lowest place you think you'll ever be.  

I'm pretty lucky with the fact that I understand that I will hit those lows and the highs (don't know which is worse).  When you' re in the middle it's best.  The difficult part is to stay in the middle.  Chemicals change and situations can trigger a high or low.

I'm currently in a low.  So, basically, depressed.  I have absolutely NOTHING to be depressed about.  My life is good.  I have a great family, good job, friends, a place to live, food on the table, and most of all God.  He is what will always get me through.  No matter how bad it gets, He with either carry me or drag me through to get to the next step.  

Being the fangirl that I am, I found a short film with an actor that I follow (Ryan Robbins), and directed by another actor (Robert Lawrenson) that I follow.  It's called "The Man and the Hole in the Roof" 

If you get the chance, take out 10 mins to watch it.  Beautifully written (Ryan Fehr)  and portrayed by two great actors (Ryan Robbins and Michael Patric).  

Sometimes it's as simple as the words that come from a total stranger that can help when you're depressed.  Remember that when you treat someone with respect and kindness it can change their whole world.  

Back to what I was saying, depression can be so difficult to get out of.  Even with counseling, medication and people who care around you, it can be as difficult as swimming across an ocean.  It seems endless and hopeless, but with help you can get to the other side. 

When I'm depressed I usually become extremely introverted.  I hate being around people, I don't want to go to work, I don't want to do anything, not even the things I enjoy.  Yesterday was horrible!  Aside from the depression my anxiety was in full bloom.  I'm feeling a little better today, hence I'm actually writing.  I spent last night doing absolutely nothing of any importance, and alone.  That helped.

Do I have a point in this today?  I'm not really sure if I've gotten to any point.  All I can say is that if you suffer from depression, just get through the day... or the hour, then the next hour.  Sometimes is all we can do.  Find help and stay as strong as you can.  Talk to someone.  It that person can't help, find someone else.  Keep looking until you find someone you feel comfortable talking with and get through this.  

Depression and mental illness came to light with Robin Williams took his life.  Lots of stuff in the news then, now? Nope.  It will never end.  There are many different opinions of taking your life.  All I can say is that it is selfish and a cop-out, to a point.  I completely understand the agony you feel inside, how you want the pain to end.  Just stop.  The people that survive can't make any sense of it.  They can only understand what you were thinking at that moment a little.  Stick around and tell them.  Tell them how alone you feel when you're in a room full of people.  How you feel like an outcast.  How you feel like everything you do is wrong.  How you think you annoy everyone you're around because you deal with this ALL the time and it just can't seem to go away for good.

Tell them. Now, I need to listen to my own advice.  The things I've mentioned above is exactly how I feel when I'm depressed (and sometimes when I'm not).

I hope I've been able to help someone today.  I have to go to work, yipee.  Yes, that's sarcastic.  I really like my job and the people I work with, but when I'm depressed I don't want to go.  

But, I go....  

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