Sunday, June 22, 2014

Depression sucks!

I figured I should just take a few minutes to get some thoughts down.  

I've had a four day weekend and it's ending in the wrong way.  My original plan was to refinish my deck.  I figured I could pressure wash the previous stain off since we have a strong pressure washer.  Well, when I went to get it started, it didn't.  So, Thursday as a bust! When my neighbor came home I asked him to help me.  He's good with things like this and my IT Guys and Minion were away for the weekend. He couldn't get it started.  So, I borrowed his pressure washer. 

I spent several hours Thursday night and Friday all day working on the deck.  It's not really that big, but the pressure washer I was using has a PSI about half of what ours has. All that time and almost all of the flooring stain had been removed. Yesterday I headed back out but after a few hours of getting no where on the spindles and railing I gave up.  

I am do discouraged and depressed about this.  I need to use a chemical remover now since that wasn't working.  This whole thing has thrown me into a crash.  All I've wanted to do is eat, which of course, I've been doing. Which of course, makes me feel worse.  

Sometimes depression is quite frustrating. I can look from the outside and see the situation but from where I currently stand, in the middle of the situation, it sucks!

So, today I've been doing nothing.  I had this huge to-do list for the weekend. I was looking forward to getting some things done.  Now I feel like I'm a failure.  I didn't get anything on this list completed. 

All I know is that at least there's tomorrow.